Why [Jahveh] Never Received Tenure at Any University

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some doubt He wrote it Himself.
6. He may have created the world, but what has He done since?
7. The scientific community can't replicate His results.
8. He never got permission from the ethics board to use human subjects.
9. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
10. He rarely came to class and just told students, "Read the Book."
11. Some say He had His son teach the class.
12. He expelled His first two students.
13. His office hours were irregular and sometimes held on a mountaintop.
14. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed.

                                    -- Caroline Arena